The concept of motivation is quite powerful. It’s not just the name of a TI song which resonated with me back in 2004. Motivation is the force that pushes. Motivation causes action–you can liken it as the potential energy behind the kinetic energy. It is your fire within.
In its essence, motivation is the reason most of us get up every morning. It’s the reason why we strive for our goals and reach for our dreams. Honestly, I don’t even know if I have the words to express exactly what kind of gravity the concept of motivation carries.
The reason why I want to talk about motivation all of a sudden is because, like a wave, motivation ebbs and flows over time, and motivation is low for me right now. Lately I’ve been finding it difficult to draw the energy necessary to focus and function. I have to put a bit of the blame on the pandemic forcing me to work from home. Even though I may not actively see it, I can feel energy being sapped from me every day that blurs together. Couple this information with the fact that my wife, motivated by her daily events, gets up early in the morning around 4 AM–which is earlier than I would like to wake up. This means my sleep is impacted as well.
Even before the pandemic, I used to declare that the highlight of my day was my daily commute–especially my morning commute. The earlier I got up, the less traffic was on the road. I still remember whippin’ my 911 in the mornings and it was just fantastic. I didn’t get to drive my Honda as much since a few months into 2020 the shutdown occurred. Once the pandemic shutdown happened, I resorted to driving to to the coffee shop in the morning just for an excuse to start the car. Then last December my wife got us a coffee machine for Christmas (which is surprisingly as tasty if not tastier than the Dunkin’ I was getting) so my trips to the coffee shop slowed down considerably.
Long story short, I am not the most motivated right now, and it is sad. I trust that I’ll have an upswing at some point but right now I’m not doing very well. One of the good things I have now is the ability to write in this journal about something that nobody can’t take away from me–my dreams and goals. Even if they do take longer than expected or if I encounter more hurdles then I am comfortable with, I will always have these goals. As long as I have these goals, I will keep working towards them, and the machine will keep running.
I’ve already written a couple times about goals and dreams and if you read this, you can expect more, possibly even duplicate topics. This is fine as one of the primary uses of this journal is as a type of inexpensive therapy. Where I used to be able to talk to folks in the office, I now resort to writing in here. This is fine as these words will last as long as this site is available (and hopefully after as I back up these journal entries).
So on another note, I replaced the rear motor mount on Project CELICA and although it fixed a problem, it did not fix the problem as the shaking under my hood continues. I again suspect the clutch/flywheel combination but my Dad remains skeptical and wants to check it out again. We will see! I received the front and left hand (driver’s side) mounts as well but have not replaced them. I still have the clutch and flywheel replacement in my office as well.
I replaced the control module for my dryer and it started up, but time will tell if the root issue is resolved. It does appear that the dryer will continuously run at least. I am still waiting for my replacement garage door opener wall control. We will see what future items will result in unexpected repairs! In the meantime, I plan to begin working on creation of some WordPress posts outlining why I work–future goals I have, why I continue getting up every morning, fixing my coffee, and walking to my office to sit and wait for these messages and scheduled meetings. They will outline my motivation.