So I managed to crawl out of my slump. In retrospect I think my low spirits were relevant to the old saying “one step forward, two steps back” meaning that essentially every time I try to reach my goals I inadvertently set myself back further from said goals. Over time, experiencing this type of frustration just leads to you not wanting to even try to work towards the goals–the textbook definition for lack of motivation. My wife and I like to refer to the old “carrot-on-a-stick” analogy, which is a great way of describing the concept of motivation. In the case of the carrot, it will never be obtained, but the relevant motivation would be perpetual.
When you are in a rut, it feels a lot like the walls are closing in on you. Critical thinking becomes extremely difficult because it seems like you have no way out. Emotions tend to overrule your thoughts and it becomes difficult to function. Things you previously enjoyed simply don’t seem worth it. The best way (in my experience) to work through these types of ruts is to have a third party witness it and yank you out of it. I managed to pull myself out without that assistance with the help of video games.
I previously tried to play through all of the Final Fantasy games back as far as I could. I’ve completely played through Final Fantasy III, IV, and V from a vacation I took last year with the sole purpose of binging the game series. Halfway through Final Fantasy VI I ran into a problem because my computer rebooted as a result of a lightning strike, corrupting my save file as I was playing it at the time of the strike. This nullified the nearly 30 hours I had invested in the story, with the only option being to start the game over again and replay the same story. I ended up walking away from the game entirely. This all happened about 6 months ago. As a side note, I learned (painfully) that there are power outlets on a UPS (uninterruptible power supply) that are not protected by battery, and as a result of this debacle, I fixed my computer to confirm it is properly battery backed.
As of about a week or two ago I decided to grit my teeth and play back through the 30 hours of Final Fantasy VI again. This took my mind off of all of the other issues and hiccups I had been experiencing, having to do with my project car and broken home appliances. As of today Steam reports I have invested 53 hours from the past couple weeks in Final Fantasy VI. Between those 53 hours and the fact that I finally replaced my motor mounts on Project CELICA, fixed my dryer control panel, and successfully replaced my garage door opener wall panel, I feel like I am able to find my motivation to get up in the morning.
My wife and I spoke with a few contractors about building out my patio and we are working with our Homeowner’s Association to get the appropriate approvals to get to work. I got a personal loan to support the work that was admittedly not the best terms, but it is what it is. Fortunately I am putting a bit of the HOA approval correspondence on my wife’s shoulders as she is absolutely more psyched about this expansion effort than I.
Regarding Project CELICA, I spoke with my local mechanic about installing the clutch kit, replacing the flywheel, and replacing the rear main seal. This guy stays busy, but mentioned he may be able to fit me in this weekend. I’m hoping to get his help so I can fix this infernal shaking of my motor and eventually daily drive this car. Once I can daily drive, I can decide whether I want to keep making payments on this Honda or not. I’m seeing used Honda Civic Type R’s with similar mileage going for 5 grand more than I paid for mine so I am curious. Alternately, I would need to sell my Toyota to pick up my brother’s Chevy truck. I am interested in tightening up my finances in preparation for these home improvements.
My Dad and I replaced every Project CELICA motor mount within the past few weeks (save for the one with the nut busted off in the frame) so we are all focused on this clutch and flywheel at this point. I really want to drive the car so I am hopeful the clutch kit and flywheel corrects things.